TSD Day023: Happy Birthday Alex 周!

First of All, have to wish our fellowship mate Alex a happy birthday! hehe!
I Hope I can finish my work today asap and get to join the guys for dinner!
 
Early in the morning work Work WORK!
That aside, cast into the reality of an OT! haha! Well! Luckily, Thanks to my
大姐 Denise in ParkwayHealth! She treated me to a 麻花!Great way to start
a day! hehe! Helps to offset abit of my mental trauma… Man! Gota finish the
stuff today no matter what! The goal? NO OT! hehe! Work my ass off in the
morning gathering and producing a document. finally managed to send it
before lunch to all the key people! hehe!
 
Lunch at 星期一!(Again? Argh, not sian ar?)
Haha, I love 星期一! today I ate their 招牌便当!Together with Jessica, Mike
and Sarah! hehe! Took the opportunity to ask alot of HR related stuff, like
talent retention and head hunting! haha! I think I shall formulate deeper
questions to ask! To really gain knowledge in the HR domain.
 
Also have to thank Anneke for the pizza treat! hehe! Pepperoni Pizza is
great! hehe! Hope ur feet heals soon. FYI, her feet got rolled over by the
bus door this morning. Morale of the story? Dun stand near the DOOR!
not too near that is… Pizza is great!
 
Play to win! hehe!
Today is a day of treats! hehe! Another treat from Sister Denise! haha! sounds
so Catholic! A 姚豆!Nice!
 
Treats keeps you happy! Thus improves one’s efficiency! hehe! manage to finish all
the inputs and come up with a presentation based on a super long email! hehe! I think
I level up le! In terms of political skills and work efficiency! Also tied down the workflow
with Melissa for Call Centre! hehe! That’s what I call efficiency… so what do I do for
Monday? haha.. shh… (I also duno… hehe!)
 
Going home soon! Early today. About 5pm now! Gona get a wireless router man! hehe!
Cheers! Got a Belkin wireless router! hehe! Good stuff! 399rmb! hehe!
 
Dinner – Celebrate Alex’s Birthday!
Met Alex’s friend, Coco. Was still wondering at "Cloud Nine" until we went to Coco’s Family
run restaurant! hehe! Good food! Really! Celebrated Alex’s birthday there! The food is real good!
After that Coco went to our house and we chit chatted for a while! Fun nite! hehe!

TSD Day022: Happy Birthday Singapore!

As a Citizen of Singapore! It’s times like this that makes me especially proud of my country!
The spirit of patriotism, the many years of nation building. The success of the nation, and of
course, its people! That’s me! hehe!
 
Now work!
Gona be in a whole day meeting for the Internal Audit Presentation. It’s gona be real tiring.
But rewarding I guess! hehe! For the whole of tomorrow too! Shall learn the most out of it! 
Man! They have a long discussion today! At least from morning till noon. And I’ll have to translate
all these thoughts into a ppt. Its abit more than minutes. But I got to know how each department
is linked to the other in what processes. Intruiging!
 
Lunch!
Tried another 外卖 from somewhere else in the list of 外卖s the call centre has! Its ALOT! Had pig
intestine with noodles and ALOT ALOT of pepper… machiam free one… haha. Not something that
I like. I mean the entire bowl of noodles. aiyer…. lousy… Mara’s one seem to be much better!
With extra 猪肚!next time I shall do the same! hehe!
 
After lunch~ more Work AR!
Slog like hell after lunch… Was compiling what was discussed till noon. And had to come up with
a format for dscussion… no sweat. hehe. But after the discussion ended at about 5+. here’s the
siong part: I have to do up another consolidation. sommore need to send to different personnels
for input. siong ar! haha! Work till 7+ haha… sian diao… sommore the wireless router at the house
is spoiled. have to get a new one. sian! haha! Blog in office before going back! hehe! shh….
 
Dinner in Office! First time!
星期一排骨饭!is the best! I think thats the only comforting thing… when u are bloggin in the office
just before going home… ha! Finally finished the stuff I am suppose to do. Sent them… waiting for
another re invent the wheel! hehe! But thats for tomorrow! hehe!! Heading home! Too bad the
wireless router spoil.. maybe repair or buy a new one tomorrow. haha! signing out! HAve fun to all
those workaholics out there!

TSD Day021: Taken for a ride

Sometimes some people are true. Sometime these people are out to
waste ur time. I am not the kind for crappy egoists who goes around
telling people who did right or wrong. (Who’s to say?) I dun like those
F**Kers who expects people to think for them. If you think u are one
of those, please F**k off! Dun waste my time.
 
The Day
Today is good! At the call centre… Got to understand the different
processes within the company. I got to know how important this unit
is to the stability of the entire company. I think they are the bedrock
of the sales force here! They are the people who also have the most
knowledge on most departments. I think the department is a GEM to
parkway!
 
The People 
Documented the different processes. Learnt that there are many
processes that pass through many hands. Alot of things that are done
are actually through the excellence of the call centre staff’s commitment
to provide quality customer service. In a nutshell, its a business logic:
No matter how screwed up an organisation is inside, it must look good
on the outside. The Call centre staff I would say, are the ones that help
put up the front and helps to manuveur through the difficults and redtapes
of the organisation and make things happen! They ROCK!
 
The Lunch 
Lunch was with Dr. Liam! hehe! sponsored again! yay! haha! had Spagetti
with Tuna Set lunch at maui Cafe! So good to be at 建国西路! Now I know!
its near the orchard road of Shanghai: 淮海路。 And the Facility that I will
be going often in Luwan is near 新天地 which is like the clarke quay back
home! hehe!
 
The Work 
Finally finished the first draft of the documentation. waiting for Melissa to give
me the documents from her department to add on any necessary stuff to my
process documentation! hehe!
 
Man! Jane just told me that I would have to work additional this week for the internal
audit presentation. haha! Thats both good and bad. The bad is well I have to work on
Fri. The good? Get to learn the processes and loop holes in each departments. Quite
a big thing! Shall do a "Zai" ppt for them. Hope I can present mine soon!
 
The Dinner…
Dinner is at the usual noodle store… but there is something unusual we did. hehe! We
ordered some 水饺with vegetable fillings! hehe! Nice! on top of my 葱油拌面!Had dinner
with the Fellowship. haha! And michelle too!
 
THE CELEBRATION!!!!
This is good stuff! We celebrated the birthday of Alex and Ming Rong! Also for the nation lah!
haha! Had lotsa fun! the 2 birthday boys are sexually harassed one way or the other. Cakes
were flying around the house, and of coz, booze to flow around. Din had much drinks. Not
feeling too well. but of course I did have FUN! hehe! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! and Alex
and Ming Rong!

TSD Day020: Annivesary with Dore + First day in Luwan!

Woke up in the morning feeling fresh and happy. Up and running with Dore. Used
the Addidas Blue Challenge or something for my shirt. Can still smell it even after
lunch.

Went to the Luwan faility today, the largest facility Parkway has in China.
Walked the wrong direction initially. Luckily I left early and reached at 9.
Had dnner with Dr. Liam. The man I’ll be working with for the next 2-3 months.

This is real cool! For a start I am working with HIS (Hospital Information System).
Shall be working with SCS (Singapore Computer Systems) on this. The first step that
I am taking is to go to the call centre tomorrow and observe! Hehe.. Linus law.
Shall seee what are the processes involved and document the processes. The other
thing that I’ll be looking at is BPR: Business Process Re-engineering. I guess right
indeed an excellent opportunity to look at the work flow, analyse, and improve!
Hehe.. What I learnt in ISS can be used! hehe! So happy!

Also thanks to Dr. Liam, got a breakfast treat at a Starbucks look-a-like cafe.
Good breakfast! If I had know, wouldnt have gotten my 鸡柳三文治 at 奶茶新语! The price
rose from 4rmb to 5rmb! wtf! haha! For lunch, have to thank Steele for the treat!
hehe! He bought us lunch at Chamate! Their set lunch is not bad! had my favourite
虾饺! It has always been my favourite ever since I was a kid!

Gona be in an internal meeting soon! hehe! Exciting! From 230pm to 545pm… Bladder almost

 

TSD Day019: The only thing constant: Change

Just another day in office? NO! Of course not! Everyday in office is exciting and
challenging! I am going to the Luwan facility starting tomorrow! Last day that I will
be in office here at least for the new couple of months! One step nearer to my goal!
 
Also gotten my namecard today. haha! not bad. But too late. They said they’ll have
to print another set when I am there as the numbers are different (so professional!)
haha! Ate 星期一鸡腿饭for lunch again! hehe! really love it! haha! Wang Yong says
the drumstick looks like a ping pong bat… but what the heck, I eat it anyway! hehe!
 
Well, what can I say? Sad to leave my comfort zone. But its necessary evil I guess.
For the greater good… hehe. Would be involved in implementing a super big system
for the whole of China. Sounds big. I think its an opportunity to learn the processes
of the organisation from how it generate sales, to all the behind the scene operations.
 
Like what Linus told me:"observe, see what are the processes…" Guess I’ll have to do
that. Hope my ISS experience can help. haha! Excited! Well at the same time, I am also
abit 舍不得my still new workplace, my workstation, my wonderful colleagues. I have to
be adaptable to changes. Thats the only thing that’s constant. I can only hope it is for the
better.
 
Meantime, I shall continue to email the relevant heads and keep track of what has happened
in both sub organisations and what are the directions. Need to know how they think. It’s mind
screwing. but its good for my mind. haha!
 
Also taken a picture with my fellow interns from China. Too bad they are all not from Fudan.
Difficult to meet them in future as their internship would have ended. Man! I am missing my
colleagues here already! Like Mike, Waley, Peter, Denise, Jessica, Joyce, Catherine, Carrie,
Connie… sooo many! haha!
 
Took a day to check out the bots idea. Glad that the sales and marketing department thinks its
good! hehe. I like it when things get real real big. Thats what my microsoft project 2007 is for
anyway. dun waste the software.
 
Gona go home soon. meeting Gary and gang for our usual dinner. noodles and egg! hehe! First
time went home with Denise! haha! I remember the first time I went to office, she was the one
that had showed me THE WAY around here! Havent had a chance to thank her! Maybe I can do it
here! Thanks Denise! You are the best 大姐!!I hope she sees this! discussed on the Parkway
issues on our way home. She shared with me quite abit on how is all started here! interesting!
 
Had the same 洋葱拌面,加个蛋!haha 4.5RMB as usual. Took a evening sunset shot of our house.
Later Charlene will be coming over and bringing stuff that dore bought for me.

TSD Day 017-018: 上有天堂, 下游苏杭!

 
Now time to back date my blog! Was away during the weekend for a company
retreat at HangZhou!
 
Took a couple of hours to travel to HangZhou. Had a pit stop at this place called 长安. I
wonder if all pitstops are called this name. It’s really not a fetish, but the toilet there is
AWESOME! first time I see bamboos at the urinal. The best part? I see people emptying
their bladder to fertilise the bamboo as its covered with a fountain of ahem… man-made
chrysathemum.
 
After the pit stop and travelling for a while more, we finally reach the place for lunch!
Lunch is at a hotel restaurant in 杭州 called: 花中城大酒店!Once there, we listened to the
speeches by the different department heads and of course a speech by Boss. hehe. I think
I am kind of settling into the good food in Shanghai… haha!
 
Finally travelled a little bit more to the resort that we are suppose to go! Woah! that place
is fantastic! The shower facilities is superb and there are many facitlites that we can utilise!
The only short comming is that we are leaving for another attraction! Its swap area that
we are going! But I am going to checkout the place tonight! hehe!
 
We went to a swap. Good stuff! We were brought to 西溪之地。The swamp area. we
explored the swamp on a boat. pretty cool place. If I am not wrong, HangZhou is the place
where silk first discovered. The most amazing part is that throughout the entire hot afternoon
in the swamp. I have not seen or been bitten by a single mosquito! Also saw interesting stuff
like groups of wild ducks swimming in the swamp, fisherman at the swamp. I really wonder
if there are any crocodiles. Hmm…
 
When the tiring afternoon is over. we are all famished! Ready to really enjoy the dinner thats
coming! hehe! We went to another hotel restaurant. It’s called 宝胜厅! The place has a pretty
good ambiance! Had dinner with randomly picked members of the organisation and we watched
performances by the different departments and medical/dental facilities. Even I have gone up
for the group performance by my department. We sang 明天会更好!I would really love to think
so!
 
By the time we went back to the hotel room, I am a little shang and tired. Wanted to go to 西湖
to have some tea and chat with my fellow colleagues. But I guessed I came out too late and we
missed them. Nevermind. Still went with Dr. Fred and gang to the games room! hehe! not bad!
Learnt a new game called 沙湖球! Its interesting! sliding stuff on the board filled with bits of sand! Also
played Billard. super difficult… I prefer pool. haha. WEnt back to our room after that. HAojie and I
chatted for awhile before we watched Initial D in our room. The TV there is demand TV, where we
can choose our programs anytime we want. Cool. Slept at 3+am.
 
Second Day!
 Woke up at 645am and went for breakfast! I like the international Breakfast! good stuff! hehe!
Set off for 千岛湖!Its called a thousand island Lake. The place used to be a series of mountains.
But the rain water from HuangShan is being trapped here and the mountains are being submerged,
forming many little islands. Altogether, there are 1078 islands (that are being qualified as islands).
Hence the name Qian Dao Hu. Which means Thousand Lake. The place is cool!
 
It is an extremely inaccessible place. So I am glad we went there! hehe! Checked out the 梅峰 which
is recommended by the travel book that I bought (自助游)! That place is a peak on one of the islands
and we took a ferry there! Also had lunch on the ferry!.
 
This Mei Feng is the place to visit when you go there! It is said that ther view there is even more manificent
than the view from helicopters. I personally find the view of the entire Qian Dao Hu mesmerising. I can
see range and range of mountains (they say its Huang Shan or part of it). Super good view!
 
Althought we only visited this one place today, its extremely rewarding as it is very inaccessible. By the
time we set to go back at around 3, we needed nearly 5 hours to get back! reached office (the drop off
point) at about 830. Had dinner with Haojie and a nearby eatery and went home. Shagged. But Happy!
hehe. 
 

TSD Day016 – 幸福? (其实我姓黄)

为什么而辛苦? 为什么而辛苦? 我自己纪录.
用自己的双手想实现理想, 是不是妄想?
我还不清楚怎样的速度, 才能追上人生变化的脚步.
不过我会坚持每一步该走的方向, 哪怕
有时候难免的沮丧. 因为生活是自己的选择, 我希望
有一天, 我能实现理想, 再也不是妄想.
 
ITs now 4+ am in the morning. Still listening "Dying in the sun" by cranberries.
(I recommend people to listen to it too. Its very tranquil and gives me better
thoughts and reflections. especially to the relationship that just ended.)
Once again. reflecting on my thoughts, my actions, my rash actions. I should
learn to strike a balance between deep thought and rash actions. Guess I shall
take a nap and think where to go tomorrow. Change of plans. Shit happens.
 
The good thing? I have 3 days to recover before I fight back in office! (or in
Luwan, our biggest facility in China) No matter how sad I am, how lousy I feel
now, I am going to be ok! (At least from 830-6 during working days.) 
 
Never showing my weakness, never cry.
Woke up. about 842AM now. A feeling of sadness whelmed up from within me.
How could I let things get to me so bad? How did I let it get to me? Doesn’t
matter anymore. Dore said I don’t show any signs of regret and sadness. I
think that’s a strength. But maybe not for a relationship. Not for this one at
least. I know what is wrong. what are wrong rather. but its beyond salvation.
Let’s be strong.
 
BRUNCH! + Travel Bag Recce!
Damon and I went to check out a place selling sports and travel bags! hehe!
Its called Decathlon! 迪卡浓! Before that , we went to a place for brunch. Did not
have breakfast. So now looking for FOOD!
 
Basically, we searched by budget. and most satisfy out budget. Pretty value for
money actually. This place is called 又一处!MAn! the interior is beautiful! and I ordered
my standard 盖浇饭!I forgot what toping was it. some veggie and meat, an egg and soup.
Tea comes together as well. all for just 10RMB! haha! The surving is HUGE! haha!
 
Decathlon is a great place! hell alot of goods! shall be there again on 8th of august as that
is their sale period! hehe! abit Auntie I know… but well… 识时务者为俊杰!Need to save up
and travel China! hehe!
 
Way HOME!
On my way home, I drop by the local bookstore and bought a travel book that Haojie recomended.
Its called 自助游! But wth… there are soo many books with that tittle. finally found one i like (with
colour and of the latest edition) and went home.
 
Set up my SSH and SoCVPN to do remote access of files to provide some music on my space. hehe.
Sometimes, I am just so glad I am an SoC student. The technical knowlegde gives you the geek-vantage!
hehe.
 
I just realised I that i would not have made it to NOC if they have this requirement: Ironing. I cant iron
for nuts! I spent almost 2 hours to iron 4 shirts and 2 pants. man… I need guidance! Cant even catch a
nap before going to meet Uncle Boh for dinner at raffles city. Plus its raining so heavily outside. Glad Weileen
and I took the clothes in. Now to get ready for the dinner!
 
Dinner!
The dinner at 上海人家is not bad! hehe! Met Uncle Boh there! hehe! He is a very nice man with his own
thoughts and opinions, not easily manipulated by propaganda. Discuss everything under the sun! from
politics, to school system, to the different cultures and I learn a couple of shanghainese from Uncle Boh’s
employees.
 
We had lotsa good stuff! from cold plates to lobsters, crabs with 年糕, and even bull frogs! whew…. its
real good stuff. Thanks Uncle Boh! I hope our token of appreciation of wine is good enough for you. =)
 
After dinner, the way back is really -_-…. wanted to take cab. But everone is literally vying with you!
So in the end we still took the metro back home. We passed by Raffles City. and woah! Look at what
happens after the rain! haha. Ok, gona sleep soon. need to wake up early for HangZhou! yeah!

TSD Day015 – Reflections

Reflections…
Last night, I saw Gary talking to his family. So heart warming.
Makes me feel like calling mum and dad. I guess they are asleep
by then. I miss the people that I used to talk to as well. This makes
me think back about my actions, the thoughts behind my actions and
the possible consequences.
 
I guess for success, if compromises cannot be reached, sacrifices
have to be made. Scarifices like risk losing the people you love, the
friends you used to be so close to back home and (good) life you use
to lead.
 
So I tell myself one thing: For the more that I sacrificed, I have a greater
urge that tells myself: I must make this one year wothwhile. I will and I
am doing it now.
 
Breakfast!
Wow! Today have decided to treat myself a little better following my instant 
noodle dinner the day before! Had 火腿三文治 for breakfast! I think its a real
good breakfast, with ham, egg, and some veggie. pretty much build towards a
balanced diet. Had the sandwich after the daily meeting at 830am.
 
That Action, The Consequences
Remember the email I sent to boss? hehe. Got linked to the relevant people in
charge. I hope to be able to play a bigger role. even though I enjoy the honey
moon period now, I must always improve and add on to my skill set. Had a super
long reply from the relevant person. Took one whole morning to dig up information
and to give another set of questions based on the reply. I hope to dwell deeper into
the thoughts, not the kind that can be satisfied with superficial answers (unless if I am
unineterested in the first place.)
 
LUNCH!
Lunch is great! I order "Xing Qi Yi" again. I think they should start paying me for
advertisement! I tried their 鱼香肉丝便当。Very nice! hehe! But I still like the 鸡腿饭
best! hehe! HAd lunch with the fellow interns! Vivian, Vivian and Sherly. Took a picture
of them too. Finally found other interns! Denise treated me (and some from the department)
ice cream! hehe! wow! Thanks!
 
After Lunch
Learnt more about Project2007 (Another microsoft product). Actually its pretty good and
simple to use. haha! After that its more helping the Cynthia with powerpoint and taking
pictures. haha. Nothing much really at the later part of the day. But I think learning
Project 2007 is a good skill to have… At least Boss wants me to know. I think every step
is preparing me to be his able assistant. =)
 
Other than that, I did something for Dore too. (I don’t know why). But I guess. I just did
it. I am not sure if she would get to see it. haha. Maybe I am doing it coz I am used to it?
Haha.. I don’t know. Whatever it is, i have done it. (strecthed till after dinner at home).
 
Dinner!
Went back to Cloud Nine Area! haha! Met with Gary and Alex… (We are the fellowship! hehe!)
we had food at our standard cheapo noodle stall 4.5 rmb.. my 葱油版面 with an egg! hehe.
Not bad. Went back home to watch 300. ok lah… not bad.
 
After that I stayed up till 2 to have a talk with Dore. I hope things can be sorted out. It’s not
what’s better for me… it’s what’s better for us… (At least thats what I think). Well tough luck.
Life is not a bed of roses.  We talked till 4:12am. Heard a lot of things that she was unhappy
with about the relationship. I learnt quite a bit. I hope I can take in these advice and try to
improve as much as possible with the faults and improve on anything that I think I did right.
 
I guess that should be it. I guess I will wrap up my feelings for now. True Love can wait. But
you know what? Shit happens…

TSD Day014 – Point of Inflexion

Woke up at 7 at an instant upon hearing my alarm on my N6280.
Went striaght to brush my teeth and then to bathe! Rushed out of 
the house at about 735AM. The bus is not here yet. and there is this
replacement bus that says 《代96号》 that’s it! That’s the bus I will have
to take today.
 
Shock! usually, in the bus, we can hear an automated announcement on
the stop that the bus is at (I think this one SG doesn’t have). So passengers
just draw the curtains to block out the sun to listen to the announcements.
But this time, since its a replacement bus, we the announcement of routes
is based on service no.18. (Hehe… so they actually hard coded the information
into the buses!) So we had to keep a lookout via the windows! Luckily I am
already familiar with my stop. so it’s ok! (^_^)
 
At work
Fierce! Being involved in a meeting today with Boss and some top people on
the IT revamping following the M&A. Was told to be attached to the guy taking
the lead on the IT integration. That means I will get relocated to the biggest
facility of the entire group in China. There, I will be able to learn the different
processes that are taking place and I think it would be a value adding experience!
 
I hope my prior experiences at ISS and NICA would help. But all this is not confirmed,
pending Boss’ decision tomorrow when he sort things out (in his mind) as there are
really a hell lot of things going on within the company. I think this M&A experience is
super duper cool. Shall learn as much as I can from the opportunity! Maybe its the
action I took 2 days ago that made Boss allow me to move out and not just be part of
an intermediate process. I want to be where the sales is taking place, to understand the
business, and eventually be able to be at the top. because I know the bottom.
 
Personal
Me and Dore are at a cooling off period. But I think the action was really necessary. If
I am really interested to have a better future for either/both of us. I think we have to
nip the problems in the bud. At least I try to. So I guess if we are unable to come to a
consensus, there is really no point dragging.
 
It’s not easy to beat the feeling w/o someone that is important to you. But I guess I 
have to go on. I hope I can keep myself occupied enough. Nevermind me. I am
thinking too much.
 
Dinner- A trip to Nanjing?
took the subway home. Cornnie showed me the way to take the metro. I think I may
be going to Nanjing next weekend! She jio-ed. Must thank this big sister of mine! hehe!
else won’t be able to get it at a superbly low price! hehe! I heard that its the LOBSTER
season! hehe! Gona try the food!
 
Back to the dinner for today… Instatn noodles… haha… ate at home. 3RMB. Well.
Sometimes you just have no mood to eat out or do anything. This is the time.
 

TSD Day013 – That fateful day

Hmmm day 13… seems to be a pretty unlucky number.
But does it really matter? Its all in the mind! haha!
 
In the morning!
Woke up at 7am today without snoozing! hehe! Went to
bathe and flew out of the house before 745am so that
I can be in time for the daily meeting. Got to the office
like at 820! super early! But was really disappointed that
and felt the meeting was below par. I felt I don’t understand
what is going on in the different branches.
 
I have an urge to really go to the different branches and stay
there for like at least a few days each so as to better understand
each’s workflow and dynamics. Oh yeah… I forgot. I haven had
breakfast. Only a vitamin C pill that my mum got for me for my
trip here.
 
LUNCH and beyond.
Hmm had honey roasted chicken chop with rice for lunch. not
very nice. I still prefer "Xing qi yi". Think I’ll eat there tomorrow. hehe.
Gona help Mark with the Perfoma thingy he asked me to. I don’t
really know what it is. but I guess I can learn something from it.
He’s the COO afterall rite. hehe gona read straits times interactive
for during lunchtime. time to get updated on the news!
 
Helping mark to do the Financial Proforma! Thats the right spelling!
Well I think I will continue with it tomorrow.
 
That moment…
REally pissed… I am exteremely angry with dore. Never before so pissed.
I think we really need to think about the relationship.
 
There are alot of things she did that made me wonder why am I still doing this?
But I thought. In a realtionship, its not about loving the perfect person, its about
being able to cope the obstacles and each others’ short comming that makes the
relationship perfect.
 
She was not, despite countless times and ways to salvage the relationship, at all
wanting to improve or compromise for each others’ short coming. I have to say that
these are all my own views. she may see me as an ass.
 
I thought being a long distance, the last thing we need was more negativity into the
relationship. well. she gave me that surprise less than 48 hours I just left the her
at the airport. Countless arguments over the details pursue, tying me down real bad.
Being in NOC, I guess I really needed the freedom. I have said it before and I will say
it again to remind myself. I am deteremined to succeed. nothing will stop me. I really
dislike the feeling of having to convince her time and again that I am true to her and
would love to see her as much.
 
She is just the kind that needs the company, that I cant give now. I am tired to keep
maintaining and her always correcting on my whatever (perceived) faults that I have.
I really feel that this negativity will bog me down. Today, her attitude was the
intolerable. I have decided to take the initiative. For all that I have did, I think she
really made me feel its not worth it.
 
I think we’d be better off alone (or with someone else that has time).
 
Dinner.
Going for dinner.. feeling alone. The walk to the bus stop seems extra far, alot of things
are going on in my mind. A lot of flashbacks, future plans distrupted. With one of my pillar
of strength gone, I think I can only fall back on my family and my friends. These thoughts
are still running in my mind, about the past, our past, whats here and now, and a future that
I am not so certain. In terms of romance at least.
 
When I reached Gary and gang at Cloud Nine, I tried to not think about me and her for a
moment. and concentrated on the dinner. I think i can be strong. Better to end it now than
to drag it for another half a year and drain us out before we finally put a stop. I think she
can’t wait anyway. Judging from the negativity (that I feel is no longer worth tolerating).
 
Dinner is good. In a darn affordable restaurant! each person is like only 8 bucks. Had about
6 dishes and the best part: free flow of rice! haha!  Bought a box of 王老吉!
 
Chat with Dore.
She said some stuff I said on top are not true. I just have to highlight this as what I say
may be inclined to my side (even though I feel I am reletively neutral). We talked for quite
a while (32mins 59 secs) it was only then that I begin to wonder… Why are you begining
to feel positive only during the last moments?