TSD Day013 – That fateful day

Hmmm day 13… seems to be a pretty unlucky number.
But does it really matter? Its all in the mind! haha!
 
In the morning!
Woke up at 7am today without snoozing! hehe! Went to
bathe and flew out of the house before 745am so that
I can be in time for the daily meeting. Got to the office
like at 820! super early! But was really disappointed that
and felt the meeting was below par. I felt I don’t understand
what is going on in the different branches.
 
I have an urge to really go to the different branches and stay
there for like at least a few days each so as to better understand
each’s workflow and dynamics. Oh yeah… I forgot. I haven had
breakfast. Only a vitamin C pill that my mum got for me for my
trip here.
 
LUNCH and beyond.
Hmm had honey roasted chicken chop with rice for lunch. not
very nice. I still prefer "Xing qi yi". Think I’ll eat there tomorrow. hehe.
Gona help Mark with the Perfoma thingy he asked me to. I don’t
really know what it is. but I guess I can learn something from it.
He’s the COO afterall rite. hehe gona read straits times interactive
for during lunchtime. time to get updated on the news!
 
Helping mark to do the Financial Proforma! Thats the right spelling!
Well I think I will continue with it tomorrow.
 
That moment…
REally pissed… I am exteremely angry with dore. Never before so pissed.
I think we really need to think about the relationship.
 
There are alot of things she did that made me wonder why am I still doing this?
But I thought. In a realtionship, its not about loving the perfect person, its about
being able to cope the obstacles and each others’ short comming that makes the
relationship perfect.
 
She was not, despite countless times and ways to salvage the relationship, at all
wanting to improve or compromise for each others’ short coming. I have to say that
these are all my own views. she may see me as an ass.
 
I thought being a long distance, the last thing we need was more negativity into the
relationship. well. she gave me that surprise less than 48 hours I just left the her
at the airport. Countless arguments over the details pursue, tying me down real bad.
Being in NOC, I guess I really needed the freedom. I have said it before and I will say
it again to remind myself. I am deteremined to succeed. nothing will stop me. I really
dislike the feeling of having to convince her time and again that I am true to her and
would love to see her as much.
 
She is just the kind that needs the company, that I cant give now. I am tired to keep
maintaining and her always correcting on my whatever (perceived) faults that I have.
I really feel that this negativity will bog me down. Today, her attitude was the
intolerable. I have decided to take the initiative. For all that I have did, I think she
really made me feel its not worth it.
 
I think we’d be better off alone (or with someone else that has time).
 
Dinner.
Going for dinner.. feeling alone. The walk to the bus stop seems extra far, alot of things
are going on in my mind. A lot of flashbacks, future plans distrupted. With one of my pillar
of strength gone, I think I can only fall back on my family and my friends. These thoughts
are still running in my mind, about the past, our past, whats here and now, and a future that
I am not so certain. In terms of romance at least.
 
When I reached Gary and gang at Cloud Nine, I tried to not think about me and her for a
moment. and concentrated on the dinner. I think i can be strong. Better to end it now than
to drag it for another half a year and drain us out before we finally put a stop. I think she
can’t wait anyway. Judging from the negativity (that I feel is no longer worth tolerating).
 
Dinner is good. In a darn affordable restaurant! each person is like only 8 bucks. Had about
6 dishes and the best part: free flow of rice! haha!  Bought a box of 王老吉!
 
Chat with Dore.
She said some stuff I said on top are not true. I just have to highlight this as what I say
may be inclined to my side (even though I feel I am reletively neutral). We talked for quite
a while (32mins 59 secs) it was only then that I begin to wonder… Why are you begining
to feel positive only during the last moments?

  1. JoAnne

    You are determined to succeed and nothing can stop you. What a statement and ambition!!!
    And what is Financial Proforma anyway? You seem to have the privilige ah~~~

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