Day: July 31, 2007

Hmmm day 13… seems to be a pretty unlucky number.

But does it really matter? Its all in the mind! haha!

 

Woke up at 7am today without snoozing! hehe! Went to

bathe and flew out of the house before 745am so that

I can be in time for the daily meeting. Got to the office

like at 820! super early! But was really disappointed that

and felt the meeting was below par. I felt I don’t understand

what is going on in the different branches.

 

I have an urge to really go to the different branches and stay

there for like at least a few days each so as to better understand

each’s workflow and dynamics. Oh yeah… I forgot. I haven had

breakfast. Only a vitamin C pill that my mum got for me for my

trip here.

 

Hmm had honey roasted chicken chop with rice for lunch. not

very nice. I still prefer "Xing qi yi". Think I’ll eat there tomorrow. hehe.

Gona help Mark with the Perfoma thingy he asked me to. I don’t

really know what it is. but I guess I can learn something from it.

He’s the COO afterall rite. hehe gona read straits times interactive

for during lunchtime. time to get updated on the news!

 

Helping mark to do the Financial Proforma! Thats the right spelling!

Well I think I will continue with it tomorrow.

 

REally pissed… I am exteremely angry with dore. Never before so pissed.

I think we really need to think about the relationship.

 

There are alot of things she did that made me wonder why am I still doing this?

But I thought. In a realtionship, its not about loving the perfect person, its about

being able to cope the obstacles and each others’ short comming that makes the

relationship perfect.

 

She was not, despite countless times and ways to salvage the relationship, at all

wanting to improve or compromise for each others’ short coming. I have to say that

these are all my own views. she may see me as an ass.

 

I thought being a long distance, the last thing we need was more negativity into the

relationship. well. she gave me that surprise less than 48 hours I just left the her

at the airport. Countless arguments over the details pursue, tying me down real bad.

Being in NOC, I guess I really needed the freedom. I have said it before and I will say

it again to remind myself. I am deteremined to succeed. nothing will stop me. I really

dislike the feeling of having to convince her time and again that I am true to her and

would love to see her as much.

 

She is just the kind that needs the company, that I cant give now. I am tired to keep

maintaining and her always correcting on my whatever (perceived) faults that I have.

I really feel that this negativity will bog me down. Today, her attitude was the

intolerable. I have decided to take the initiative. For all that I have did, I think she

really made me feel its not worth it.

 

I think we’d be better off alone (or with someone else that has time).

 

Going for dinner.. feeling alone. The walk to the bus stop seems extra far, alot of things

are going on in my mind. A lot of flashbacks, future plans distrupted. With one of my pillar

of strength gone, I think I can only fall back on my family and my friends. These thoughts

are still running in my mind, about the past, our past, whats here and now, and a future that

I am not so certain. In terms of romance at least.

 

When I reached Gary and gang at Cloud Nine, I tried to not think about me and her for a

moment. and concentrated on the dinner. I think i can be strong. Better to end it now than

to drag it for another half a year and drain us out before we finally put a stop. I think she

can’t wait anyway. Judging from the negativity (that I feel is no longer worth tolerating).

 

Dinner is good. In a darn affordable restaurant! each person is like only 8 bucks. Had about

6 dishes and the best part: free flow of rice! haha!  Bought a box of 王老吉！

 

Chat with Dore.

She said some stuff I said on top are not true. I just have to highlight this as what I say

may be inclined to my side (even though I feel I am reletively neutral). We talked for quite

a while (32mins 59 secs) it was only then that I begin to wonder… Why are you begining

to feel positive only during the last moments?